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Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

Why does Chris Evans always grab his left boob when he laughs?

officialchelso:

Hello, anon, and thank you for the question.

This topic has been studied by researchers for years. There are three prevailing theories that I will relay to you now.

1. It keeps him on the ground.

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You may notice in the gif above that Chris’ leg starts to rise as he laughs, possibly a precursor to his entire body undergoing a sort of lift off due to his joy. Chris then employs his upper body strength to force himself to obey the laws of gravity.

2. To check on his physique.

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As you may be aware, anon, it takes a lot of hard work to maintain a superhero body. Chris is concerned that in the time he has spent sitting down, sans working out or eating, he has lost muscle mass. Understandably, he feels the need to make sure that he is still a specimen.

3. Object permanence.

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Object permanence is a term applied to the understanding that an object still exists even when you cannot see it. Chris closes his eyes when he laughs, making him unable to see that he has not disappeared. By grabbing his left boob, Chris knows that he has not somehow ceased to exist.

I hope this helps.

ultrafacts:

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These dudes are legit.  They don’t just show up one day in court, either, they actually make friends with the kids and let them know they have a support system and that there are people in the world who care about them and will always have their back.  And less important, but also cool, is that the few times a couple of them have come into my cafe, they’ve been super friendly and polite and when I told one of the guys that I noticed his Bikers Against Child Abuse patch and wanted him to know how awesome I thought he was because of it, he got kind of shy and blushed and said, “The kids are the awesome ones, we just let them know they’re allowed to be brave.”

misfit-ofthe-multiverse:

myneighbortotoho:

nobodycars:

nobodycars:

WHY DOES MY COUGH SYRUP TASTE LIKE PENCIL SHAVINGS GOD

Someone just asked how I know what pencil shavings tasted like

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Well

this one time i got a rotton egg one in the car and for some reason the windows were on child lock so i was sitting there banging on the window so i could spit it out it was a terrible experience. 0/10. do not recommend

These are the people who make Bertie Bott’s Every Flavored Beans for muggles! Why are we surprised?

Surprise! Cliven Bundy, Conservatives’ Newest Hero, is a Huge Gigantic Racist

publicshaming:

Have your heard about Cliven Bundy? No? Why he’s only America’s newest patriot! Conservatives, Republicans, Libertarians, and right wingers of all types are going goo-goo over Mr. Bundy and his Bundy Ranch. Let me give you a little summary.

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Cliven Bundy, like most good white right wingers, is a moocher. As a rancher in the great state of Nevada, Cliven Bundy let’s his cattle graze on public land. To use this land, the law requires ranchers to pay a grazing fee to the federal government, you know, just like you’d pay rent if you were using a piece of private land. The only problem is, in Cliven Bundy’s own words, Mr. Bundy does not “recognize the United States government as existing” and has refused to pay the fees associated with grazing cattle on public land for decades. He now owes the U.S. government around $1 million dollars.

Why are we hearing about this now? After many years, the federal government decided to show up a few weeks ago and seize his cattle. So, what does Cliven Bundy do? He goes on right wing media news outlets and calls for, no, no, not peaceful protesters, he calls for armed militia to show up and defend “his” land. And, like most right wingers who have nothing better to do but jump at the opportunity to swing their giant firearms around to make up for what they lack in their pants, show up they did!

Why does this matter? Well, to avoid a confrontation, the federal government returned Cliven Bundy’s cattle and backed down. This has made Mr. Bundy a big old rootin’ tootin’ heroic American patriot in the eyes of Conservative media! So much show, that ye ole’ mainstream lamestream media could no longer ignore Cliven Bundy’s plight!

The New York Times has got the latest straight from Cliven Bundy himself. The nation’s eyes and ears are all on Mr. Bundy right now. Perhaps he will drop some knowledge and leave us with the next great speech, one for the ages, a few quotes that will cement himself for generations to come as the next great American…

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Oh.

Cliven Bundy, the right wing’s newest hero? Sounds about right.

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